ANYHOO 360

Title: "Britney’s Beanstalk Bonanza"

[OPENING SCENE: A brightly-lit SNL stage, complete with a glittery backdrop and a fake record company office. BRITNEY SPEARS sits at a desk, looking over some paperwork with a mischievous grin. TAYLOR SWIFT, in a glamorous outfit, enters excitedly.]

TAYLOR: (bouncing in) Britney! I can’t wait for this collab! Imagine the charts! “Shake It Off” meets “Oops!... I Did It Again”! We’re going to be unstoppable!

BRITNEY: (smiling but looking distracted) Totally can’t wait, Taylor! But you know, I’ve been thinking…

TAYLOR: (tilting her head) Thinking about what? The song? The art? The world domination? Because I am SO in!

BRITNEY: (leaning in, lowering her voice) Actually… what if I traded you for three magic beans instead?

TAYLOR: (confused) Beans? Are they… like, organic? Fair trade? Is this a new trend I don’t know about?

BRITNEY: (giggling) No, Taylor! These are magic beans! (holds up a hand, gesturing dramatically) You plant them, and they grow into a beanstalk that leads to a land of giants!

TAYLOR: (raising an eyebrow) Giants? Brit, I've never heard of anyone getting a beanstalk as a record deal.

BRITNEY: (with a wink) Yeah, but think about it! You can have your collab, but I’ll have a giant beanstalk! And in a world where giants exist, who needs popularity when you can have PROFITABILITY in a magical land?

[The camera zooms in on TAYLOR, who looks momentarily intrigued.]

TAYLOR: (thoughtful) Hmm. But do giants even stream music? What’s the ROI (return on investment) on that?

BRITNEY: (enthusiastically) I know they do! They have their own Spotify called “Giants' Jams!” Their playlists are HUGE!

TAYLOR: (sarcastically) Right, because who wouldn’t want a 60-foot giant jamming to their breakup album?

BRITNEY: (leaning back in her chair, playful) Exactly! Plus, you could be the first artist to conquer the giant charts! Swift’s Giants: it has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

[TAYLOR ponders this for a moment, tapping her chin.]

TAYLOR: (sighs) Okay, but if I do this, will those beans REALLY get me into the industry? And, like, are the giants “Bigfoot” or just “big” in general?

BRITNEY: (suddenly excited) They’re enormous – like, they’ve got their own clothing line, “Everyday Giant Wear.” Talk about merch opportunities!

TAYLOR: (giggling) Now that’s something I can get behind! But wait, what do you get in exchange for trading me?

BRITNEY: (grinning devilishly) If I’m successful, I’ll have—wait for it—a giant new career! I’ll be the first pop star in both the human and giant realms!

TAYLOR: (pretending to think hard) Hmmm… So, do I get to come visit the beanstalk?

BRITNEY: (snaps her fingers) Absolutely! You can write your next hit while hanging with giants! "We Are Never Ever Gonna Be Giants Together!"

[The audience bursts into laughter.]

TAYLOR: (joining in the laughter) Alright, but only if we get to do a follow-up album titled, “Beans and Beats!”

BRITNEY: (shaking her head, laughing) Deal! But let’s keep the record deal on hold… You never know when a beanstalk will come in handy!

[They seal their friendship with a playful high-five, and the camera zooms out.]

[CLOSING SCENE: The lights dim, and a banner drops down reading “Coming Soon: The Musical Beanstalk!”]

[END SKETCH]