The ballad of Never & Definitely Not
They met where the boundaries of certainty bend,
Between a hard No and a Let’s just pretend.
Never was built out of granite and stone,
A fortress of silence, content and alone.
And Definitely Not was a locked iron door,
The final conclusion, the end of the war.
“I’ll never,” said Never, “let anyone in.”
“And I,” said Definitely Not, “won’t begin.”
Verse I: The Approach
Never wore armor of cold, heavy doubt,
Ensuring no feelings got in or got out.
They’d seen how the Maybes would falter and fade,
How quickly the promises Always had made
Would crumble to dust at the turn of the tide,
So Never stayed safe with their shadows inside.
Then Definitely Not strolled along down the street,
With absolute boundaries and elegant feet.
They didn’t want company, didn’t want tea,
And said to the world, “Do not look upon me.”
They crossed at the corner of Not In A Million,
Right by the gates of the Hopeless Pavilion.
Verse II: The Encounter
Never looked up with a cynical glare.
“You cannot come closer. Don't even you dare.”
Definitely Not scoffed and took one step ahead:
“I wouldn't come near you if I were dead.
I’m strictly unavailable, totally closed,
To any suggestion or project proposed.”
They stood face-to-face in a stubborn embrace,
Two immovable objects in infinite space.
“I’ll never relent,” Never whispered in spite.
“And I’ll definitely not,” came the answer that night.
Verse III: The Paradox
But logic is fickle when two negatives meet,
A strange sort of chemistry bloomed on the street.
For Never found comfort in certainty’s tone,
And Definitely Not hated being alone.
To say “We will not” with a passionate spark,
Is a very fine way to hold hands in the dark.
They agreed to disagree, fiercely and fast,
That this was a bond that would definitely not last.
They swore they’d never admit it was real,
Protecting the things that they both started to feel.
The Chorus
So here’s to the lovers who fiercely deny,
The flicker of hope in a cynical eye.
A beautiful anthem of stubborn design,
Where two total No's somehow fall into line.
They’ll never be happy, they’ll definitely not,
Admit to the fairytale ending they got.