I subscribed to the Devil because as a child I farted in Church and I was convinced I was going to Hell for it…so made a Geneva Convention style Contract with the Devil for good treatment in Hell…then later (2024) married Kellie who was a former church organist, to see if God really forgives farting in his house of worship…but no sex since marriage so I think God is still remembering the smell and is twistedly vindictive